When Life gets Hard

We all have the best intentions...and we always have choices - the difference is often, is where your limits are. How much does 'life' have to throw at you to hurl you off-course? Its a question I pose to you. We are all different, and I suppose it is different day to day even for the individual. It always happens (which is fine) - as long as that threshold is high enough that it does not happen every day. How you recover from being shoved off-course is key too.

I'll start my story by saying I've been off-course for a month. Yes...a month. Circumstantially I will not overlook the obvious "Christmas" blip...a few missed workouts due to schedule, travel and shopping conflicts before, the goodies and rich foods during the break (ok, who can say NO to MOM???), and the close-down of sports/gyms etc. Happens. Fine. I made good choices when I could and allowed myself to relax and enjoy the treats and rest at certain times.

Here is the part where life got hard, and it was not my choices that were drivers of behaviour - but LIFE -

When I went home for the holidays, I had noticed my dad (who has been living with Cancer for 2 years, been battling off and on with the disease for 8) was much more frail, disinterested, depressed and sickly than I had seen him in the months or weeks earlier. We had chocked it up to too much activity and visitors. Just after New Years, we found out that his chemo had ceased to be effective the last round before Christmas. I had started to make changes to my schedule so that I could travel back to Gananoque for 4 days/week to help my mother with his care and to spend as much time with him as I could. Unfortunately 2 days after the assessment and news, my dad was rushed/admitted to St. Mary's on the Lake Hospice for 24-hour palliative care.

I received this news at work and came home the next morning. I had expected to see my dad in his room sitting in a chair, awake and ready for a hug. This was not, unfortunately the case. He was aware of things, but no longer able to respond verbally. Huge change from a week earlier where he had used his walker to shuffle over to his recumbent bike for a 5-minute spin. (Ok, Im pausing for a little cry here because I honestly can not remember our last conversation at the house...he had closed down the communication before his body had - we had always shared everything. Perhaps he knew and could just not muster words to say what we both did not want to hear).

The following days were a blur. His body and resolve remained strong - it was unclear whether this was going to he his norm for weeks or days. Unfortunately or fortunately...it was days.

So here I am, post funeral, back home, back coaching, back working...and feeling like crap. The mind needs rest as much as the body does, so my plan in the short term is do what is required of me, ease back into my workouts and keep tabs on what enters my mouth. The only good thing that has come out of all of this is that if I see another casserole, cookie, sandwich or snack tray, I think I'll barf.

Bottom Line - Be Gentle with yourself...no matter what life throws at us, we can always recover.

My next post will be my dads cancer story...and how being fit/active and strong makes all of the difference during tough times through illness, surgery and depression. This I always knew...but its a powerful motivator for me...and hopefully yours too.

Thats Me-N-My dad in the middle after a Dragon Boat race a few years ago - I do believe he was sick then...but I can't recall at what stage.